what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
