Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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