somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
