if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
