just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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