So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
