I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
