Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
