I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
