i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
