Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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