But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Randomize
