Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize