i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
