glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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