i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
its not stalking. its research.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
