i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
