I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
