remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
