if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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