I feel great
I just peed on a car
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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