you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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