have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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