Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
