Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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