i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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