weddingsv make me drug and hornr
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
