the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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