Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
