Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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