so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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