I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
