'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
