Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
