i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
