my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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