I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
