I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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