Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am available for nakedness
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
