You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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