i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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