i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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