whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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