Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize