I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
