just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
