Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
