its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
