My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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