It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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