so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I need a beard to bite.
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