Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
