Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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