Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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