So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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