just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
