maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Mom said you looked used
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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